Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
