so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
