Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
