she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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