so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
