My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
