soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
