420 ftw
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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