This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
