How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
