I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
