you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
