At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
