She is in my trunk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
