i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
