She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
