Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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