Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
