I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
