when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
