let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize