I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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