Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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