if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
