Umm I'm too high to move.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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