I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize