Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
