i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
