The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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