her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize