I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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