He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
