Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
