every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize