you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
