Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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