What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
