Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize