Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
