my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
