I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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