If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
