wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
