Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
