i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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