the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
