Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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