after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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