I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
