Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
