We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
