Farmville is her only friend.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just found a bag of teeth...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
