i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
