he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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