He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
