my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
