where am i from again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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