If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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