What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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