well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
