I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
