Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
