I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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