doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
