im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
